Attraction, Admiration Or Cursh?

People call it 'Sweet 16'. But that is an ironical phrase.

                                               

Teenage is one of the most difficult periods of all ages. Being like the Cat-on-the-wall, exploring the difference between the good & the bad; knowing what responsibilities are; making some of the toughest decisions & choices. Adding to all these, the Vibrations, Crushes, Attractions... I am very glad that I have crossed my teenage. To have crossed those confusing 8 years, I breathe a sigh of relief. Thanks to my sisters to have shown me the right way! Although school saw the beginning of Attractions, college tempted every one of us to the worst verge. Some even fell for it. They say "Life is Short. So, live it to the fullest!" & get commited. But it doesn't make sense all the time, does it?

They call it as "Love". But are you sure? Are you sure you have the Maturity to make such decisions? Are you sure that this person you chose is the "ONE" i.e., the one with whom you are going to spend the rest of your life with? Are you sure that your future is in the hands of this person whom you met a few months or a year before? Are you sure you want to share your deepest feelings with this person? Are you sure what you are entitling yourself to? These are the basic questions I would want to ask those who are getting into a "Committed" college life!

Most of these "Committed" situations arise due to the misinterpretation of words. There are marked differences between : Attraction, Admiration, Crush, Vibration & Love!! 

Confusions arise when you don't know the differences between these various close feelings. 

In most of the cases, as an idea of having 'fun', common friends start teasing a guy & a girl who are good close friends; then they get confused & finally end up confusing the status of their relationship. Mostly, the liking that one has over the other can be defined easily:

Attraction: This is the first confusion status. Good & smart appearance, behaviour, silent character/talkativeness & other habits tend to just attract you. This leads to admiration. Generally, the habits that you don't have attracts you to him/her. Attraction is mostly the culprit to confuse people.

Admiration: This happens when those qualities you don't have & wish you had, are possessed by that person. You actually admire that quality in them & tend to confuse that to ardence. Admiration is a mere expression of 'awe' mostly misread by the friends around. 

Vibrations: This is just the next level of attraction. Its a slightly intense feeling of likliness, because of what they are. Just like good, better, best --> Attraction, Vibrations, Crush. It's like the Vibrations you have when you see Tom Cruise or Katrina Kaif. When the same feel comes on a guy/girl sitting next to you, it is redefined wrongly as "Love".

Crush: This is the simple word for "Head Over Heels" idiom. Just like how we go crazy, looking at a few celebrities; a crush on a person makes you do things you have never done before. It makes you go crazy & blinds you into doing something stupid, just to make your crush focus on you! This is a very common act that people get strangled to. When your close friends find you doing something like that, they declare you to have fallen in 'love'. A crush should never be the driving factor deciding your future spouse.

Love is what people call to be an ineffable feeling that you get when you care for someone out of pure affection & attachment. In Indian Family culture, it is what that develops out of the bond that entangles people. Like loving our mother, father & others due to our bonds with them. 

We tend to confuse all the above levels of 'liking' somebody to 'loving' them.

In college, people even have changed & compromised their future plans just because of their 'Commitment'. Why do people want to fall into that pit so early? Why are people not looking into Life beyond? How many amongst these 'couples' in college would have thought about their family's reputation, current financial status? How many would have thought if this guy/girl fits in the family or not? Why do you think Indian Tradition veto-ed Arranged Marriage? Why should we get into such a responsibility soon? Having a Boy Friend or Girl Friend has become the fashion of the age! Call me Old-Fashioned. I don't care. But I still believe that the old traditions had some reason behind a few restrictions! 

Having brought us up for Twenty-plus years, don't you think parents will be wise enough to give you the right choices? They would look into factors you would have never thought to get you into the right family. If you want to get into a Sparky Love Marriage, why don't you wait till you enter your mid-twenties to decide on the 'Spouse Factor'. May be at that age, being out of all the 'Likings', you would be clear & mature enough to decide. 

It is such a sensitive & important factor that your future, sometimes even your career, depend upon. The moral support of the family & spouse always is necessary throughout life!! 

Why are people hustling up to get into that pitfall. Westernisation is followed in this part of the Culture unnecessarily, but never to learn to behave. Why aren't people learning the "Manners" of the westerners rather than their Dating Culture!

I sometimes even find a few girls/guys being controlled in the name of 'Care' by their 'Committed' counter-parts. It marks a funny note in a few cases: Being 6 months older makes a Guy more responsible than the girl!:D ! 

Friendship without commitment is fine! But why to get into this trap? 

To get 'Committed' is suicidal! Yet, people fall into the same pit!?! When are they ever going to learn? After falling into it & getting hurt? Hopefully before that! & I also pray that my friends who swore to stay together forever, DO keep their word! If not, I pray that they get the Will-Power to overcome their Disappointments!

Diwali Dreams: Where has all the charm gone?

Inspired by the wonderful Indian Culture, I write this on the eve of Diwali missing the olden golden days.

Diwali has always been the most expected festival of all times. Families, cousins & relatives meeting together. Sweets, crackers, & smiles all the way. Ofcourse, the new dresses & the fun attached. Diwali dream swirls back to those fun-filled days spent with cousins; boasting to be the fearless brave-heart, bursting the scary crackers; competing to have the best collection of fireworks amongst all cousins. I still remember the next-door neighbor who used to demonstrate competitiveness with our crackers. Those were Golden Days. :)
All these were around 5-10 years back. It was when there were only 2-4 TV channels & when we had the best fun of all times because we were all together. But, now, sadly, with the increase in the number of channels, & the special programs & movies, people glue themselves to it. Environmentally it is good to see the 'Cracker bursting level' decrease, but this feeling of being together has been diminishing as well. Only a few families seem to spend time together. Mostly, if its a Government holiday, everyone sit before the TV to have the so-called-fun.(if you call listening to some VJ interview some Actor/Actress as to what his/her favourite colour is, as fun) Yes, we do need relaxation, but how about spending some valid time with the family as relaxation? You can watch a movie or some extravagant-show anytime.But this time of celebrating with the entire family comes only once a year...

This Diwali, I was travelling back to Chennai from my hometown. During this strange travel, I saw the streets dark & empty, the front doors of most of the houses either latched from inside or wide open with the entire family sitting before the TV; & the travel was uncommonly silent. That too at 7.30pm on the best celebrated festival's date. This usually used to be the peak hour of celebration. Looks like there was some Super Hit movie on TV...

I was happy to see a few kids standing outside their houses trying to figure out a way to 'deploy' their rockets. But other than that, the streets were neat & clean unlike the years when the next morning used to have the roads garnished & coated with the cracker's paper bits..
Where has all the spirit gone? Diwali is supposed to be a day when you meet all your relatives, cousins, & the entire family. But, now, due to the personal economy, travel problems, work load, & transformed culture, spending a Festival has got itself a new definition.
Arrival of a holiday, makes a few to ask their curious questions: "What's the special movie on tv?", "What's releasing new?"...But  how about: "Who's coming home? Who are we are going to meet?"...

I was a TV junkie myself, so long. My mother used to push me off the TV & compel me to have fun with cousins. Now, that my cousins have all grown & most of them are either married or have got settled abroad with a nice fine job, we hardly meet during festivals. Its been a long time, since I even met a few. Now, I am very glad that my mum poked me off the TV seats. I would have never had those fun times again. The movies I was about to get hooked onto, are now being played very often on the same channel. And, I have also grown older to have such fun. Now, that I have come out of that craze on movies & TV, I find that the successive generation will be missing all that fun! Sadly, some kids hardly know who their cousins are.

Our culture consists of these closely knitted families to have all the fun in the world. Only a few lucky lads have that & amongst them, only the luckiest enjoy that. Fighting with cousins are the best too. Waking up early to burst the first cracker. Showing off that I am not scared to lighten that atom bomb, while being nervous on the inside... :) ... Having the best sweets & sharing them... Early morning mantras to chant... Rockets that fail/deviate from target... A few 'vedis' that don't burst at all... The heavy sad heart that shows up at the end of the day...the worst day of all --> To get back to school after the long awaited Diwali Holidays...

Those days are never going to come back again... Only memories creep... I really do miss all those cousins, neighbours, fun & those wonderful fights I used to 'celebrate' as part of Diwali... Not travelling alone...

Strangely, I was also accompanied by a few more passengers who were travelling along on this Diwali eve. When I asked my next seat 'bus-friend' on why she was travelling instead of having fun with the family, she replied that she had WORK on the following day ("SUNDAY"). That was because of a project release,she said. So, she was missing all the fun back home. This is the situation that this new "Work-culture" created to this country. I am not blaming her or her work-field; but I am feeling bad for her family. They are going to miss her on the special occasion. The reason of having festival is mainly an excuse to be with the family & have fun.

This was my first travel on a festival occasion. This has also become the first time to have realised how lucky I  was & how much fun I had. I was counting my blessings. I also realised how this TV is spoiling the roots of these Festival concepts.

I don't remember of thinking of celebrating Narakasura's death when I used to light a firework; I only remember seeing my family smiling at me to hustle back to them safely after lighting it. Where has all that charm gone? Is it going to fade away? I don't want electronic fireworks/crackers being launched online as part of FUTURE! I would only want to be with my family; be together & have fun.
Anyone reading this, please make it a point to spend the best of all times with your family! Even if you won't miss it, let your family not miss you!!

Women don't need help!

For God's Sake, can somebody please stop this "Ladies, First!" phrase? I don't think women are weak to require any assistance or guidance! If required let them ask that to you, after they have given it their best shot!

Every time, a courteous young man pays respect to me because I am a woman, I feel a little inferior & guilty to have made those men standing in that Queue even longer.


Also, people have been talking about giving 33% seat allocation to women in the Parliament. I am NOT for it!It's never a Cake-Walk for anybody at that cause to enter into the Parliament. The only concern is, 'If they want a reservation to just enter the Parliament, then how are they to manage supporting their constituency?' I, being a women myself, feel that this is not fair enough. I don't believe that the Society is totally Male Chauvinistic.  Men DO find it uncomfortable to follow the lead of a Woman first, but if you are good enough, you can very well change their attitude or convince them to follow your lead. Sometimes, to be very honest, this word, 'Male Chauvinistic Society' is used pretty common & sadly even in spots where it makes no sense at all.

In a nut-shell:
Being a girl/women is not an excuse to get our work done. Prove people that you are good enough for that spot, then take it away. If you have worked for it, proved that you are better & still don't get that due recognition, then call it a Male Chauvinistic Society. May be I am right, or may be I lack the exposure to these "Societies", but getting a better priority just because I am a girl/woman is only conveying the message "I am weak. I need Help!". I would rather choose to convey, "I am worth it & don't you dare deprive that away!","I can very well take care of myself! Thanks a lot for the offer, though!".

Under-grads are NOT kids!

What the hell is wrong with the Environment I am living in? I've always loved the place wherever I was put up. But I am now making an exception. The present College Education & the Under-Graduation in South India is totally in a Pity-able status. As per the known facts, the reason why we have lesser R&D scientists & other 'should-be' Remarkable Personalities, is that they never really let the "Free Will" of a student to fly like the Kite. It's always trapped into a casing fully filled with Rules, Regulations & Restrictions.

Every human is definitely bound to Limitations, but these limitations should not bind the mind. Once we start binding it, we start restricting its growth. All exceptional Great ones we meet in India, are the ones who had the guts to break these rules. But why on earth do we want these type of colleges that restricts a girl or a guy from talking with each other. Aren't they making it even more uncomfortable for them to move on in their Working Part of their life? Restrictions are needed at times; but not as a rule to be strictly followed & monitored. It has been proven that only a free mind can bring out the best potential out. That's why the German Style of a University has a hit over the world. We have the Heisenberg, Einstein, & so more because of the free thinking environment they were lucky to have. Indians are a mark of wit to a few. But, that's only the few lot, who were able to cross the odds. Imagine, if the South Indian Private Colleges were to have a non-restricted Campus, how phenomenal could the outcome rise to?!

When I tried to find out as to why a South-Indian Engineering College Student is being levied with so many restrictions, I came across a few :

a) The fees is damn heavy, so this indirectly pressurises those who run it, to take responsibility of him/her.
b) The fees is still paid by his/her parents! This means your still under their control both mentally & financially.
c) In South-India, families are generally NOT very comfortable with love marriages. So, when they send their son/daughter to a college, they don't want their 'kids' to start thinking about a partner.
d) The culture & the Society is held at the Highest Position & they don't want any part of their reputation being spoilt.
e) The ones running a Private College is from a completely different Generation, having NO clue on what the Future Trend is going to be. They hardly understand why someone is into college education. They are almost clueless to differentiate between a college & a school!!

The whole point is,
"Why do you ever want to call it a college if you consider it as the next grade of School?!? I can very well stay there in a school to learn the same 'discipline', 'punctuality', & all such moral basics. He/She is 17+ & you still want to bring them up?
 Why don't parents, here, Question these colleges about this?
Are we not educating ourselves to learn on how to manage when exposed into the real world as in the working environment?
If not my curriculum, atleast the college's environment can help with it, right? The curriculum is completely OBSOLETE which would take nearly a decade to change! So, why not try changing the Environment?
Colleges can produce millions of 'Working Class' people. But how many of these type of colleges are ever going to produce 'Innovators', 'Trend-setters', 'Ideation Experts', ... Are they stimulating to put an end to the thinking class??
Is this the reason why, South India has lesser Entrepreneurs than the North? Are these Institutions curbing these free minds? Is it a dread? Can something be done about it?

I don't want my Successors to get into a deficit of exposure. Should someone running such an institution be educated or counselled? Academics are not everything, is it?"

The Basic Fundamental Reason of Existence of Education is at stake, isn't it?
It is supposed to be providing the base to provoke me to think, (Not to MUG), to analyse, to aid me understand things at a better pace & so on. Mind you, these are all that I will need for my Career & for my future uplift. When is this scenario in the South going to change?